I am one of those people who can easily slip into a very negative state of mind. The slightest knockback or problem can lead to a cloud of doom descending over me, a cloud which I find hard to push away and remove. This article looks at ways in which we can fight back, to quickly get us back into a happy mode.

I used to be quite a fragile character, some would say that I was even scared of my own shadow. I was always paranoid that people were talking about me and laughing behind my back.

Even though my parents are superb, I was not a happy child or a happy teenager. I am so unlucky you see or so I thought. I walked around as if the world owed me something and would often feel very sorry for myself. I was bullied at school, it was more mental bullying rather than anything physical. I am sure that most people also get bullied and deal with it. It would leave me in a state of panic and depression. Looking back I have to say I was a bit of a wimp in reality.

I decided that enough was enough by my mid-twenties and decided it was time to toughen up. I could not continue to live my life as I had been, as I would probably be dead by the time I was fifty.

I then went about a self-help program to increase my overall self-confidence and self-esteem. I wanted to learn more about stress-management, dealing with depression, relaxation and about how to become successful in life.

What I found out over the next twelve to eighteen months would change my life forever.

These are the things I had to do:

I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. Yes I am not perfect but who is.

I had to think in a more positive way.

I had to stop worrying about the future.

I had to stop caring what other people thought of me.

I needed to smile more.

I needed to learn to relax. I now use meditation for this purpose.

I had to learn to like myself.

I needed to become stronger to fight away the negative thoughts in my head.

I needed to appreciate what I did have in life, rather than concentrating on what I had not.

I started to implement the above and it helped me no end. That horrible cloud of doom, still descended however, around once a month. When it does descend, I now write two lists. What I am happy about in life and what I am sad or worrying about. I then analyse both lists and more times than not, I am actually over-reacting.

In conclusion, life is a battle. There are good times and bad. We need to become strong and learn to think in a more positive way. We have to fight back against people who bully us and against the voices in our head who are trying to make us panic. This is not easy, however with determination people are able to turn their life around just like I have.

I used to feel anger towards the people who bullied me at school. I now feel sorry for them. They are the bad apples and I prey for them. I prey that God will one day make them pure.

About the Author

Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

stuttering

nasty ringtones

quality make-up brushes

Attitude is everything. I know that you've heard this before and either agreed or disagreed. Either way, you were confirming its truth. Attitude is a filter for everything going into your mind and everything coming out of your mind. Right now, I have no idea what you are thinking because your attitude is unique to you.

 

It's not a matter of having a bad or good attitude. Everyone's attitude is influenced by so many thoughts at one time that it is almost inevitable that your attitude is always a mixture of positive and negative words and images. While most people speak at 150 to 200 words per minute, research suggests that we think at about 1,300 words per minute. Additionally, many of our thoughts are images, which could encompass thousands of words at once. This research led to the design of the Bubble Planner, which helps you capture your ideas before they float away (www.BubblePlanner.com).

 

Like Herding Cats. I know this seems a bit overwhelming at the moment, but if you stick with me, it will become clear. As with most complex issues, there are many causes and variations within the issues. There can literally be thousands of permutations with any issue. However, as Dr. Phil said on a recent show, "while the problems are complex, the solutions are simple".

 

Don't Yell at the Computer. What I'm about to write may shock you, but here goes. There are really only three emotions: love, anger, and fear. Love draws you toward something, anger pits you against something, and fear chases you away from something. All of your feelings are a combination of these three emotions. Whether you're happy, sad, worried, anxious, depressed, afraid, or content, these feelings all stem from these emotions.

 

This is good news. If we can understand what's driving our thoughts, then we can change them. When you make a decision, you can trace that decision back to your thoughts at the time you were deciding. Even though you may not be aware, you are always talking to yourself. Some of you just said to yourself, "no I'm not".

 

The way to change your behavior is to change your attitude. To change your attitude, you must separate the stimulus from the response. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to choose their response to any situation. There is a space, even though it can be milliseconds at times, that we may choose how to react in every situation. Many people allow their subconscious to make these decisions, which is why they feel so out of control. We can take back control. In the next part of Change UP!, I'll show you how.

 

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. 

Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company …a church …a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past …we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.

 

We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude …I am convinced that life is 10hat happens to me and 90ow I react to it. And so it is with you …we are in charge of our attitudes." - Charles Swindoll

 

Bubble UP! is dedicated to helping you make better choices. We believe choices are the currency that converts the present to the future. Since the Information Age is filled with a blizzard of requests for your attention, traditional time management tools are no longer adequate. That's why Bubble UP! creates tools that Think Like You Do!

 

Life Doesn't Give You One Thing at a Time, Why Does Your Planner?

 

Visit us on the web at Personal Time Management Tools - Organize at the Speed of Thought!

About the Author

 

Bubble UP! is dedicated to helping you make better choices. We believe choices are the currency that converts the present to the future. Bubble UP! creates tools that Think Like You Do!

 

Life Doesn't Give You One Thing at a Time, Why Does Your Planner?

 

Visit us on the web at www.BubblePlanner.com.

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Most people at some stage of their lives will become the victim of bullying. People may think that this only occurs at school, however a lot of bullying also occurs in the workplace and even by your local neighbours. This article describes how I have learnt to deal with these nasty people, by playing what I call the nutter card.

At school I was an obvious target for a bully. I had a speech impediment known as a stutter or a stammer. I was always struggling with my weight and was larger than most of my other classmates and I was the shortest male in the class.

The bullies saw me as easy prey and I was. I was not sure how to handle these people and they made my time in high school quite depressing. I did not tell anybody of the abuse I was receiving and could not wait to leave at the age of sixteen. I have to admit that at this time in my life, I was quite weak and a bit of a wimp.

I believed that in the workplace this would not continue to be a problem as I would be working with adults. How wrong could I have been?

I was employed in an office environment and one of my duties was to answer the phone and to also make outgoing calls. Having a stuttering problem made this task very difficult for me. I would often travel to work feeling physically sick.

There was one main bully who made my life hell, his name was Gary. Gary was one of the most popular people in the office, he was a bit of a rebel and the ladies loved him. He was a big, strong man who loved to play rugby at the weekends. He would often come to work on a Monday morning bragging about how many pints he had downed on his Saturday night out, and about how many women he had slept with. I thought it was all rubbish and that he had probably stayed in with his mom watching the television. Other people worshipped him like some sort of God.

Gary constantly took the mickey out of myself and would mimmick my stutter at regular intervals. I tried to not let it bother me, but it did. I let this continue for nearly year and by now I was feeling very depressed and was ready to quit.

I then read a book about the subject of bullying and it wrote about something which they called, playing the nutter card. Basically at for example work, you can be who you want to be. Nutters come in all shapes and sizes and if you threaten the bully in a strong enough and convincing manner, they will normally back off, as most bullies are cowards.

I decided to be brave and give it a go. I could not physically hurt Gary as he is twice the size of me and twice as powerful. He does not know the people in my circle of friends though, I needed to convince him that they could.

On the day when I actually went for it, it had not been planned. I never really believed that I would do it, even though I wanted to. On this particular day however, the abuse was constant and very upsetting. I was really mad and clocked out of work and went to wait by Gary's car, but hidden behind a tree.

Gary eventually approached his car and went to unlock the door, as he did I jumped on his back but quickly fell off. He turned round with a shocked look on his face, however was happy when he saw that it was me. I started swearing at him and told him that I had had enough. I informed him that a number of my friends are a bit tapped in the head, but that they would do anything to help me. If I told them the abuse he was giving me, they would not be best pleased and would basically beat him to a pulp. I warned him that if he ever took the mickey out of me, that I would tell them and that he would then have to wait for his punishment to take place. I then ran off shaking.

The next day I went to work in a nervous state, I am happy to report he fell for the bait and was as good as gold after that.

In conclusion, do not let people bully you. Do whatever you have to, to gain the power back and to live life free of these horrible people. Good luck.

Steve Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk

http://blog.radiantyouth.com/blog

http://blog.stop-smoking-tobacco.com/blog